randomness
 wow i have taken a liking to writing in xanga again...
i wonder how long this will last -_ -
anyways,
i dont really have much to talk about
i just wanted to write something :]
i guess i must be really bored on my Spring Break lol
no, i kinda missed writing random things on here.
i used to write in xanga so much back in the days haha
i think writing random things on here
is the reason why my voice in papers is so casual.
when i write papers, it sounds almost as if i'm talking in person
it's kind of bad in that people might not take me seriously...
not that i don't like my voice.
i think it's better to be able to relate to people
than impressing them with big words and such in papers.
it's easier to read and engage my audience.
...i guess it has its pros and cons :] so whenever i look at my older xanga posts, it consists of
a lot of pictures and little icons and cute things.
man, i put so much time into writing those things hahahahaha
not that i'm getting more and more lazy...[which i am -_ - ]
but i guess i kinda grew out of that..?
maybe it's a sign that i've become more mature..?
hmm i'm not exactly sure at this point.
it's hard to measures your own maturity level haha since i haven't written in xanga ever since i've gotten into college,
[not counting the recent posts...]
i guess i'll recollect the memories
of my autumn and winter quarter. autumn quarter
autumn quarter was my first 10 weeks of college experience.
i would like to say that the whole year of 2008
had not been a very good one.
[includes my last half of senior yr in high school and summer]
hmmm...september was pretty chaotic.
trying to settle in to my bro's new apt and my new dorm.
i was the very last one to move in to the dorm
so i got the worst spots. the worst desk, the worst bed,
the worst shelf in the bathroom, etc...
if that wasn't enough,
i didnt get any choices in choosing my classes
because my orientation date was also very late. i know...LAME.
the beginning of the quarter was alright. nice weather and such
hanging out with lucy and nhi and kento pretty much everyday. i had a hard time after i heard my grandfather had passed away.
in the midst of my poor grieving situation,
i also went thru hard times with my relationship with joon,
my pseudo-bf, my "it's complicated", my...i dont even kno anymore.
since i don't want to go thru the the gruesome details again,
i will say that my halloween wasn't as "sick" as it could have been
and my heart was broken. for the very first time.
i pretty much stayed home and slept.
skipping class and everything.
i blame everything on miscommunication and bad timing.
we didnt have time to see each other and when we did,
there was always someone else there
so we didnt have any alone time to talk. during this time,
michelle [my korean roommate] and i started going to the frats.
BAD IDEA. i can't stress this enough.
first there was that whole ordeal with...i'll just call him C.
i dont even like bringing up his name.
he was nice to me and said he liked me.
and then one drunken night,a week before halloween,
we................yea, i can't even say it.
bad choice. i dont regret the act, just my choice.
and then i told him that i didn't like him
and we ended in a good-sported attitude, or so i thought.
he doesnt talk to me anymore. then, in another drunken night,
i hooked up with one of his frat brother, daniel.
daniel was in some kind of a relationship with a girl i knew.
the day after, he told me he still liked that girl
and i immediately appologized to the girl and i thought we were good
i mean, she did say "its ok, don't be sorry".
i even gave daniel advice on how to approach her.
but i guess they grew annoyed with all the miscommunication
...and he called me back.
from then on, we continuously got together.
now, i'm thinking this is why C doesn't talk to me anymore
he told me that i was dirty.
i admit, i wasn't very conventional with approaching guys.
however, i believe that by telling him outright i didnt like him,
it was alright for me to move on.
its not like i led him on or anything.
by now the girl doesn't even talk to me anymore -_ -
this i totally dont understand
because i wasnt the reason they "ended"
from the beginning, ive heard that they fight way too much.
if i was the reason, she shouldnt have accepted my appology.
she should have came to talk to me and bitch me out, something. on top of all of this, joon's former best friend S
and my roommate michelle dated for a little bit and they ended.
of course with me being the middleman.
and then he tells me he likes me...-_ -. michelle is heartbroken.
ok, i admit that joon and i both knew this from the beginning...
then i hear that joon and S had not been the best of friends
since my not so little "break up" even tho i told both joon and S
they can't break their friendship over a girl. GREAT. so til the end of autumn quarter, there was this freshmen drama
over four guys. i have to say, it was not a peaceful quarter. winter quarter
winter quarter started with me back at the frats.
during the winter break, i had kept in touch with daniel
and upon my return, we hooked up...for the last time.
we were both waiting for the moment to get together again
and when it finally happened after 3 weeks of break,
i think we both got the clue that it needed to end. and so the rest of my winter quarter was a lot peaceful.
i think daniel found another girl to fool around with
and i stayed more at home.
more boring, but less drama which is what i wanted.
after a month, i went out again in february to a party
and decided that i didnt like it, so i went home early. while everything was settling down, joon and i started talking again.
in the beginning, i couldnt hide my bitterness
but as we talked more and more i loosened up
and we became friends again.
[although, i still give him shit for what had happened
and i still don't like to talk about his new girlfriend]
then it got to a point where we were so friendly to each other
that i went into "omg i think i still like him" mode.
hmmm maybe i do because nhi thinks i'm in denial...
i'm not entirely sure. and i started going to church again after 3 yrs of not going. then mardi gras came along and i went out to party of course.
i actually had a pretty good time at the party.
danced a few times with my former "lover" daniel.
of course, that was it.
there was no way we were gonna hook up again.
i went home safe and sound, maybe a little drunk.
daniel and i were never bitter with each other.
although we stopped talking to each other,
we were never awkward, and never mad, nothing. just casual.
i, the laid-back easygoing person that i am, really appreciate this.
it was always the guys who got clingy/awkward for me. anyways, going back on track,
after about 2 weeks maybe, daniel called again.
and then he started talking to me on facebook,
inviting me to things and whatnot.
when i was going up to his house to see some break dancing,
i remember him telling me on the phone that he has to leave soon
and just wanted to see me before he had to leave.
i swear that's the cutest thing he's ever said.
then he called later that night and we talked for about 30 min.
most of the conversation was about church and korean dramas.
and so michelle and i convinced daniel to go to our church.
we had a great day. [details about this week are 2 posts below]
it was just very odd that we started talking and hanging out again. then after finals were done, joon came to visit.
we were not awkward, but rather comfortable like before.
ok...i was a little awkward that
we were alone in the room for obvious reasons. but that was it.
and of course, my concern became reality.
a girl and a boy, alone in a room leads to things,
esp when they were together in the past.
i wont specify what happened, just that something did.
of course my head exploded because of what happened.
that very night, daniel invited me to hang out at his house.
i hadn't been there since the mardi gras party.
that was a huge party where everyone was invited anywyas.
in autumn quarter, we usually just hung out a lot but not party.
so it was weird going back to that old...habit perhaps?
and then the weirdest thing happened. we hooked up again.
so my head exploded for the second time. epilogue
wow, i didn't realize my post would get so long and so personal.
i feel like i just poured everything out. ehhh... so my first year of college so far is pretty hectic.
i dont think anyone can disagree with that.
at this point i dont even kno where i stand with joon or daniel.
i'll see how my spring quarter goes... --*SEUiE //  | 
